Lead On with Greg & Mark (LOwGaM)
We invite you to join us as we talk about the world of leadership during times of complexity.
Lead On with Greg & Mark (LOwGaM)
S3 E11: Beatboxing the Odds with Baldness: What To Do When Things Go Sideways
Dr. Nita Bhushan's book, "That Sucked. Now What?" shines with a light of wisdom as we tackle how to turn life's lemons into limoncello. We're talking vulnerability, meditation, and gratitude journaling: Not your average chitchat, but stories and strategies that pack a punch. Who knew learning to laugh in the face of adversity could be so empowering? Whether we're sharing our journaling journeys or discussing the power of positive self-talk, this episode is brimming with anecdotes and advice that might just change your perspective on the potholes in life's road.
But first: Remember the days when beatboxing, pop & locking, and spitballs were the epitome of cool? Greg & Mark are taking you back to those carefree times, with a twist of wisdom on the side. Our latest episode is a rollercoaster ride of laughter, '80s nostalgia, and life lessons, complete with a mix-up at the eye doctor's office. Join us as we go head-to-head in an '80s movie quote showdown, reminiscing about films from our youth. Trust me, it's a conversation so lively you'll feel like you're right there with us, trying to remember which movie had that guy holding up that boombox.
Closing the loop, it gets real with what it means to build meaningful friendships and redefine success on your own terms. We're peeling back the layers on these important topics just in time to stay on track with your New Year's resolutions on leadership. So here's to growth, learning, and thriving in the most entertaining way possible. Join us, Greg & Mark, won't you?
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You're listening to Lead On with Greg and Mark, brought to you by the Pennsylvania Association of Intermediate Units. Join us this season as we engage in conversations on leading on through times of complexity. Now for your hosts, Greg and Mark.
Speaker 2:Yowzas.
Speaker 3:Yowzas.
Speaker 2:I love that theme song.
Speaker 3:Well, you're singing along. You got a little, I got a little beat box.
Speaker 2:It's a dying art the beat box.
Speaker 3:I saw on Instagram a guy that uses like a straw A straw and a soft drink, like you know, mcdonald's or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And he uses the straw to create the beat box effect.
Speaker 2:Did you ever take a straw and like roll it up and snap it? And then it pops and then it pops. The McDonald's straws were the best for that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then, of course, you did like the straw, as like a spitball cannon.
Speaker 2:I've done that too, but with ice, because then the evidence melts the evidence.
Speaker 3:So you're shooting ice through the straw? I did that, so it's ice that you've chewed up between your teeth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then Not only are you shooting something. That's what I've said.
Speaker 3:You're shooting chewed up ice. It's been in your mouth covered in saliva.
Speaker 2:The evidence disappears. So listen, when I'm walking in your office today, I'm on the phone and Mark thought I was like he's like, are you on with your wife? I'm like, no, I'm on with my eye place. So it was pretty funny. So I called this morning and I guess it was too early to pay this bill for to get my contacts. So I paid through like some kind of a payment company that deals with what my company is is Northeastern Eye Institute kind of thing.
Speaker 2:So I called in with my local place just to verify it. And I'm talking to this guy and I'm like it's Gregory Coons with a K, okay. And he's like, okay, all right, greg, you know you're not here in the system. He goes what's your birthday? Give me my birthday stuff. And I said, listen, I think it's a problem with your system. I think there's something going on. Because there's, I paid it to this company. I have the email receipt. I said for recess, right here, northeastern Eye Institute. And he said we're Crystal Vision, oh nice. So I called the wrong place, I Googled wrong, I giggled wrong, so so anyway, I end up calling the local place and that's I was on. That's that's why I was laughing when I showed up. I don't even know where to go with that, but anyway, like it was, just when you know, with your wife.
Speaker 3:No, I'm on with my eye doctor and I said my eyes, thank you.
Speaker 1:That's how.
Speaker 2:I that's. That was my party. My parting words for Jordan, who helped me. Thank you, jordan, who helped me with my contacts.
Speaker 3:My eyes. Thank you, the eyes have it. Yeah, so so Greg's here in Bucks County and we just did a little mini walk around the intermediate unit. People like to see you.
Speaker 2:I am getting roasted by everybody.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so the minute he walks into the back where we've got some folks working, she's innovate, pa and get. What did she say? What did Denise?
Speaker 2:say and fail miserably or something. Television show theme song recognitions yeah, I was just getting burned left and right. I think Mark set these all up.
Speaker 3:I did not set them up. I encourage them, but I did not necessarily orchestrate.
Speaker 2:I'm just glad people are listening.
Speaker 3:Well, to be honest, and they obviously believe that you're approachable if they're just roasting you.
Speaker 2:They're just putting on your home turf Exactly. Yeah, I'm already vulnerable.
Speaker 3:So a lot of feedback on those TV show songs small wonder small wonder is probably the most divisive of the 12 shows that we went through. You either have heard of it and loved it, or Don't even know anything about it.
Speaker 2:I think it's generational. So I just turned 48. You're what now?
Speaker 3:I'm gonna be 45. So I.
Speaker 2:I call party fell.
Speaker 3:I don't. I don't think it was generational. We're the same generation.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's just maybe in that three years I was just watching. I was watching cooler shows Maybe cooler shows.
Speaker 3:You have a more sophisticated taste.
Speaker 2:I have a more sophisticated palette you know yeah. You know shows about, you know cheers and drinking and yeah exactly very good so. So the yeah, well, this is my segue. Go ahead, the gauntlet has been thrown and I have a challenge for you.
Speaker 3:I am, I will. If I get knocked down, I will get back up.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I have, I have 12, but we're gonna do four and that each episode as we go through it. So we're gonna just kicks it them off with the challenge.
Speaker 3:All right, so you got four there for.
Speaker 2:And they're all I'll tell you. They're 80s movie quotes. So I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna say the quote Mm-hmm. I tell you have to tell me the movie and you get extra points if you can say who the character was.
Speaker 3:All right, I like this, you like it. This will expose not only Similar to the TV shows, like what I watched versus what you watch this will, this will expose any differences Like the things that you believe to be so obvious that I don't get. It'll be fascinating, similar to the TV show. So, exactly, okay, the challenge is accepted.
Speaker 2:Here we go. All right, go ahead. Number one first one she gave me a pen. I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.
Speaker 3:You could say anything, greg, oh.
Speaker 2:What was his name? Lloyd he and he was the key master, yeah right.
Speaker 3:Lloyd. No, it starts with an M.
Speaker 2:Lloyd you get, you get extra credit for that. It's Lloyd Dobler, oh, lloyd Dobler.
Speaker 3:Yeah, myer, anything, he's one for one. All right, come on.
Speaker 2:Next one. This is really easy. It's about what it's all.
Speaker 3:My favorite it is you could be. Now you get it wrong, missed disappointed.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't want to disappoint you. Hello, my name is Igniga Montoya. You kill my father, prepare to die princess bride. Yes, and you know who said it.
Speaker 3:Played by Mandy.
Speaker 2:Patanken. There, mandy Patanken. Yeah, I had this ongoing conversation with Maria, most my wife. She didn't know that he's now in a crime show. So he's in a lot of stuff, and I'm like that's the same guy, that's a nigga, montoya, yeah, and she's like, no, it isn't a hundred percent. I you know showed her to Wikipedia on him. All right he is two for two. Oh, thank God.
Speaker 3:I'm the least I can show my face these get tougher.
Speaker 2:Oh God, if you hit the wrong note will all be flat. That's the Goonies. That's amazing that you knew that one.
Speaker 1:They're playing.
Speaker 2:I had two other backups for you. It is they're playing that.
Speaker 3:Andy's playing the piano. Yes, yeah, and the rocks are falling with every wrong yeah she said is that a B flat? And he says if you get the wrong note, we'll all be flat, mikey, that's it.
Speaker 2:That's what he says. And then there's two other quotes from this movie. I just like them good. There are somebody else's wishes. There's somebody else's dreams. I'm taking it back.
Speaker 3:I'm taking them all back.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's it. I'm taking them all back.
Speaker 3:Martin sheen. He played Kennedy once.
Speaker 2:Then this was at the bottom of the well and then this was my favorite character he says he says I love the dark, but I hate nature. I Love the dark, but I hate nature, and I'll give you a hint?
Speaker 3:Is it one of the Fertile's? It's not one. It's not one of them.
Speaker 2:I don't know the one who did the dance. Oh okay, chunk, chunk the truffle.
Speaker 3:I don't remember that ruffle shuffle.
Speaker 2:When did you say I hate the dark. I have to. I have to look it up.
Speaker 3:But is that what he goes on? The highway and the fratellis?
Speaker 2:pick them up. Hitchhiking it might have been. It might have been.
Speaker 3:There's, you get stuck in the freezer. Ice cream, that's so fun, and the world's part, and the world's part. I'm sorry about this sound.
Speaker 1:All right, there's the fourth and final head go ahead.
Speaker 2:This is, this is very, if you know this buddy.
Speaker 3:I got.
Speaker 2:I'm nervous I put this on because this is one of my favorites.
Speaker 1:Go ahead way back.
Speaker 2:Special K. Any good dancer has a street name. Special K.
Speaker 3:Special K any good dancer has a street name.
Speaker 2:Now this might show the difference in those three years with you and me.
Speaker 3:Man. Circle K was Bill and Ted's excellent.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm, that's, sir, but it's not okay.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking of what?
Speaker 3:what movie has?
Speaker 2:a character with a K. Well, your hint here is dancer, dancer, and any good dancer has a street.
Speaker 3:Oh, is this some breaking.
Speaker 2:It's breaking sweet. You are four for four my friend so and mark put me to shame on that, so but I have stories about break dancing.
Speaker 3:I want to hear I want to hear so we used to and we were disappointed. I was for for no I.
Speaker 2:I just feel, I feel I have more, just wait, I have more, I have more. I'm not disappointed. I gave you hints.
Speaker 3:I love breaking. I like with the brooms, the brooms turbo, turbo.
Speaker 2:It was turbo and ozone. That was an ozone. He said the special K love it. I think her name was Kelly.
Speaker 3:Well, okay, those are good selections, by the way, all so fantastic movies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so your break dance, so my break dance story. So we used to actually have, like my parents were sitting in the living room and then we'd have neighbors, parents showing up and we would put on a break dance routine. Oh no, and we'd appear from be like under the stairs in the one room. This is in the house where we live now. Yeah, so we'd go out there and I would, I was, I would do the worm. That was my signature move.
Speaker 2:I can't do it anymore because it it's not comfortable, but I used to be able to do the worm.
Speaker 3:I tried to do the worm for my brother at one time and I failed miserably. I forgot to put my arms out, so I just pretty much just like smashed my face into the floor, and he has not forgotten it to this day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, actually it's a point of contention and what was this called with the arms?
Speaker 3:I don't know it's just sort of like like a ripple, it's like a kick and wave, almost.
Speaker 2:Yeah something, but anyway, I'm Maria's good at that. She, she for a biology class. She does that, as you know. It was some kind of lesson. I like it.
Speaker 3:So pretty cool.
Speaker 2:Kinesthetic learners. Kinesthetic learners you got it.
Speaker 3:Thank you for the challenge. Yes, I'm glad to have met the challenge.
Speaker 2:Oh, you did remarkably.
Speaker 3:Well, and as did you when we got towards the. The TV shows that you do, right.
Speaker 2:I actually, you either, know what are you doing, right? These are cool TV shows, yeah, yeah, well, all right, all right.
Speaker 3:You sent me something called 10 lessons from quote. That sucked. Now what?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the joy that sucked. Now what, there we go. I mean, we have those times in life right where it just went terrible.
Speaker 3:How to embrace the joy and chaos and find the magic in the mess. This is by who, sir?
Speaker 2:This is by Dr Nita Bouchan's Bouchan's, I think it's Nita.
Speaker 3:Bouchan, nita Bouchan. There you go, dr Nita Bouchan, and she said that sucked. Now what this offers a relatable and empowering guide to navigating life's challenges. Here are 10 key lessons you can learn when something goes sideways right.
Speaker 2:So number one is reframe your perspective.
Speaker 3:That's always a big thing.
Speaker 2:Reframing it is, it is.
Speaker 3:Not only like reframing negativity into something positive, but like this is like in every challenge, there's an opportunity. Yes, when one door closes, another opens, when one window closes another opens.
Speaker 2:That's your outlook on the situation.
Speaker 3:This is a first order problem, let's reframe it as a second order problem. Second order problem let's reframe it as a series of first order problems. I like that. What's number two? And she says oh sorry.
Speaker 2:Sees sucky situations as stepping stones, not roadblocks.
Speaker 3:Yeah, very similar to what we've talked about. Yeah, you fall down, you get back up, that's right. Check out a couple podcasts ago where we talked about resilience and perseverance.
Speaker 2:That's right. The next is embrace your vulnerability. So we've talked about this a little bit too, but keep yourself open to things. Try things that are out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 3:Yeah yeah. Vulnerability is not a weakness. She says it's a strength in disguise vulnerability. We've talked about this too. Authentic leadership requires that the leader not only be authentic, to be redundant, but vulnerable. Being willing to say, hey guys, I screwed that up or I don't know what to do. Or coming to your boss and say, hey boss, I don't know what to do. The vulnerability of putting yourself out there, I think, makes you relatable.
Speaker 3:Yes, it sure does If you work or live in a safe environment where there's quote psychological safety, right, that's it, where you're not going to be punished, ridiculed or ostracized or criticized for being vulnerable.
Speaker 2:So being vulnerable is great advice, but it only works if you are in a system or an environment that allows it, so you need to we talked about modeling it, of course, and yeah, and they need to see it in action and whether it's okay that they're not going to get in trouble or get scolded because they, you know, then messed up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's not only that person, right? Everybody's watching how you react, as the boss, to other people's vulnerability. Yes, they're always watching Right. So if they see that it's a safe environment for someone else to have been vulnerable, then they're more likely to be vulnerable themselves. Couldn't agree more, all right. Number three is build your resilience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they said. Challenges are inevitable, but your ability to bounce back is crucial, developing coping mechanisms like meditation, exercise and positive self-talk to strengthen your resilience muscle.
Speaker 3:It's just like working out right. You want to strengthen your bicep, you lift weights that focus on your bicep, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. You want to run a mile. You got to start with probably a couple of hundred yards. That's right and like, or you know a couple hundred feet, then a couple you know you have like small steps.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, small, yeah, small gains. So with this, a New Year's resolution I mean, this is this comes into play this month of January. I mean, everybody signs up for gym memberships, you know, but you got to stick to it, right?
Speaker 3:I like that yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, the next we, we this has been said so many times in these lists celebrate small wins, don't wait for grand achievements to celebrate, recognize and appreciate your progress. I like this one. Find the humor in the mess. Yeah, you excel at that. Does that mean I make a lot of messes?
Speaker 3:No, you, you excel in finding humor in the messes that are inevitable, my friend. Yeah, like ordering contacts, yeah, though sometimes I think some people are put off by laughter and humor, they are. If it's not appropriate, this is right and it, you know, sometimes just to break the ice right or to set it, set a tone that maybe this isn't as drastic as it is, or if it is drastic, like we got to reset here, that's it. Yeah, let's reset.
Speaker 2:Practice gratitude, my friend. So even in the midst of chaos, there are things to be grateful for. Focus on the blessings, big and small, to cultivate a positive outlook and attract more good into your life. So that's all about putting that. You know, just the good gratitude journal. We've heard about Thank you notes and, by the way, I have been keeping the journal How's it going on? Things much better. I see them more. I stick to it, the more positive things are happening.
Speaker 3:And also you're building your resilience building my resilience more productive. Right, I mean you're practicing it, right, yeah?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm struggling with the, the, not the gratitude journal. I think I'm good at that. I read a lot of thank you notes yes, handwritten thank you notes but what I'm struggling with is the, the regularity and frequency of honoring the time for the, for the journaling. So I appreciate you telling me that you're succeeding, because that motivates me to then continue to try.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even if it's every other night, but I am sticking to it. How?
Speaker 3:long are you writing for?
Speaker 2:So it's the big nights, are the Sundays before the week starts.
Speaker 3:What are you writing about? I mean specifically, but like what are your themes?
Speaker 2:More so, there's two Personal, like I've really been trying to get the fitness thing going, like I've always been good with three days a week with running and everything. But just there's that personal piece. I then with professional, I'm looking at the goals for the week and I'm doing what your friend recommended. At the end of the week Then I look back at it. So I would say the most important time is that those, those Sundays for me, are you actually writing while you reflect, or you just reflecting?
Speaker 2:I'm writing while I'm reflecting, typing or handwriting handwriting nice and an old journal just by my bedside.
Speaker 3:Nice Good for you. All right, You've got to be trying again kicking it. Old school mark All right Number seven, sir.
Speaker 2:Okay, number seven. I like this. Connect with your inner power. So it says tap into your inner strength and wisdom, believe in your ability to overcome obstacles and find your own unique way through life's challenges. Self confidence.
Speaker 3:Yes, I think that's probably summarized in the words self confidence, I would agree.
Speaker 2:I think those two words summarize it all. There we go, seek support and build community. Okay, you don't have to go through this alone. Oh, don't you know that? Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and encourage you? Build a community where you can share your struggles and celebrate your triumphs.
Speaker 3:And that doesn't just happen by accident. There's actually, if you Google this, if you're an adult, like we are, it's difficult sometimes to make new friends, especially outside of the work context, and there's a few articles that have been out right now specific to happiness for adults and the more friends that an adult has, particularly men, who struggle sometimes to keep friends in adulthood or to make friends in adulthood outside of work or outside of family. They're happier and they live longer, and so there's some strategies for what you can do to put yourself in a position where you're actually going to find people and meet people in a way that is authentic and sincere, and then also the intentionality that's required to keep a friendship going. As an adult, right, it's a lot different when you go to school every day and your friends are the people you see in your class or in your school. As an adult, right, like the tips and strategies that are required essentially to maintain that friendship.
Speaker 2:I really like that, Mark, and it got me thinking too, is that we have? I'm coming up on our we're coming up on our 30th high school reunion?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're old.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was a 1994 graduate, so we're all going to. We're trying to plan something with all our grade school friends to hang out over the summer. That's fun.
Speaker 3:You can do it. You know, you don't. I mean, you live in your childhood home. Yeah, I.
Speaker 2:So we were thinking of renting the place next door. That's perfect, and then use the two houses and I have a you know motorboat now so you can go out and go tubing and stuff. So that's what we were thinking.
Speaker 3:Love it.
Speaker 2:Love it, love it. So that's.
Speaker 3:I do see that like strength and having that community of friends right it requires intentionality and they actually counter it with social media and how social media makes us miserable. There's a thousand articles out there about that, but that your Facebook friends don't necessarily constitute real friends. You might have a thousand friends on Facebook, but how many of those people do you actually have the phone number for? Would you reach out to, or would you go meet for coffee? Or could you send you know a funny meme to? Or yeah, however you define, you know, maintaining your friendship, yeah.
Speaker 1:Remember to redefining success.
Speaker 3:move beyond conventional measures of success. In other words, define success as it means to you, as opposed to what it means by other people. I think of this as intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. Yeah, be motivated by the things that you value, rather than the things that others value.
Speaker 2:I agree and I liked that what she says here find joy in the journey, not just the destination.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the journey is the destination in many ways right. Yeah, and that's where we learn, yeah. So even if the outcome sucks right To use this author's analogy doesn't mean that the road that got you to the failure let's say right was a series of failures. It could have been a series of successes, yeah.
Speaker 2:I saw a really good picture of what a journey, a leadership journey, really looks like. They had the first one. What you think it is with point A, point B, straight line.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Then they had a real, the real leadership journey at point A, point B, and it's like a squiggly line going all the way across.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like that, yeah, you know. This reminds me of job interviews. You, someone, might apply for a job right and they ultimately might not get it. And they say, you know, after three, four rounds of interviews they don't get it.
Speaker 1:So that sucks right Use this author's analogy again.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I like this in the sense that the journey of the job interview might actually have been something that was necessary for the person, or something that was generative or meaningful for the person. That preparing for the interview, all the things they have to do, the research, all of that is positive. Now, the outcome might be that they didn't get the job that they were pursuing, and that's that's an entirely reasonable attitude to have. Gosh, that stinks, that sucks, right, yeah, but think of all of the skills that they developed, refined, and all the self-improvement they've created by going through that. How much better they are as a person. Even though the outcome wasn't what they wanted, the journey that led to it, otherwise undesirable outcome is rather positive actually.
Speaker 2:I'm with you. I love that because they you know they learn so much from those steps leading up to that. And just because you're not selected, it might it could be for so many different reasons that you weren't selected right. Sure, it might not be the right fit for that organization or district or whatever it may be, or position but you're so much better because you went through the process that you put yourself out there.
Speaker 3:What's the last?
Speaker 2:one. The last one is embrace the suck as a catalyst for growth. I feel like that's what we just said it is. I think this sums it all up Challenges and setbacks or opportunities for growth. Every quote, that sucked unquote moment teaches you valuable lessons and shapes you into a stronger, more resilient person.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's synthesizes everything that we just said.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So, this is Dr Anita Bush on, or Bush and Bush on, whatever you can Google her and you can find the 10 lessons from quote that suck. Now what. How to embrace the joy and chaos and how to find magic in the mess. Thanks for sharing this one, my friend. You are welcome. Thanks for the challenge. You're welcome. It will continue. It will continue, listeners. I hope you're playing along.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think. I think I may stump you on two of these.
Speaker 3:I can't wait. I want to be stumped All right, greg, what do you say?
Speaker 2:we wrap this one up. All right, let's wrap it up, listeners, let's make it a great day and let's what? Innovate PA. That's right, all right, here we go. Peace and love.
